Rom. 13:8-14

Love Your Neighbor as Yourself

by Pastor Jim Lincoln on March 25, 2007

On July 10, 1941 in the small town of Jedwabne, Poland, 1,600 Jewish residents were killed¹. Here's the unusual thing about this. Although the Nazis were occupying the town it wasn't the Nazis that killed them. Half of the residents of this small town made a calculated and premeditate decision to massacre the other half of the town...their Jewish neighbors. The brutality and carnival atmosphere of those eight hours was so shocking that even their occupiers were amazed. The Nazis even tried to talk them into sparing at least one family for each trade. But their neighbors didn't want to spare any. At the end of the day somehow 12 of the 1,600 Jewish neighbors survived.

Why did they do it? That question has been the focus of numerous studies since the war. Certainly, race had something to do with it. However, these Poles hadn't yet been subjected to Hitler's propaganda campaign. There was nothing in Poland's national history to account for it. Up to that point, they all seem to get along well enough. Although they didn't stop it, the Nazis recommended restraint, but the Poles rejected that suggestion. Why did they do it? There is a growing consensus that they did it because it was permitted. Nazi occupiers stood by and did nothing to stop it. One philosopher wrote, "The simple man, who is a decent man as long as the society as a whole is in order, but who then goes wild, without knowing what he's doing, when disorder arises somewhere, and the society is no longer holding together." Why did they do it? Years ago, George Will wrote a piece about this massacre and said, "Because they could." Similar things have happened in Rwanda, Bosnia, and Cambodia. Without the restraints of social order mankind can quickly become "red in tooth and claw."

For the last several Sundays we've been working our way through Romans 13. Here Paul tells us that one of the ways God keeps us from rising up and killing each other is through ordaining governments of civil authorities to carry out a measure of His justice. We can't imagine that we would ever be overtaken by such brutal retaliation. Perhaps not...but the good neighbors of this small town in Poland or Sarajavo couldn't imagine it either. When these Jews looked up to see who was killing them it wasn't the Nazis; it was their neighbor. When the social order broke down and the civil authorities were indifferent to injustice...it happened. Without the restraints of social order tsunamis of violence and wickedness can break out around us.

So, unless we are asked to compromise our allegiance to Christ, Christians are called upon to submit to governing authorities, give honor where it is due, respect where it is due, pay taxes and fees that are due, and be a blessing to the civil authorities. God has ordained them and put them there for our good. God and the gospel are honored in this way especially when we respond with confidence and peace even when our rights are not always honored. Paul wanted this small group of Christians to shine like lights against the darkness of private vengeance, lawlessness, and self- promotion through their yielded and confident witness and faith in God.

But, there is another way their light could shine even brighter on the glory of God and the gospel. They could intentionally and actively love their neighbor as themselves. Did you notice how Paul connected these two themes? In v. 7 he tells them to pay to all what is owed, whether it be taxes, customs, respect, or honor. Then, he raises the bar of what they owe. There is an even greater obligation, and it is that you owe your neighbor the debt to love him as you love yourself (8). "Owe no one anything except to love one another...and at the end of v. 9..."You shall love your neighbor as yourself."...

Now, I have a number of questions about the passage. For example, how can my love for my neighbor be an obligation? How has it come about that I owe my neighbor love? How did I get in his debt? Do you understand my question? Is true love an obligation or a duty? Doesn't obligation or duty disqualify love as authentic love? How can the language of obligation and love come together? Why does Paul bring up the Ten Commandments when he is talking about love? Didn't he say in 6:14 that we are no longer under the law? What do the Ten Commandments have to do with love? What do Paul's statements about the new day that is about to dawn have to do with loving our neighbor? Paul calls us to think about the new heavens and the new earth when there will no longer be any night, and there will no longer be any need of a lamp, no longer the need of the light of the sun, because the Lord will be their light and illumine them. What does the dawning of that new day have to do with loving our neighbor (11-12)? Finally, how can we do it? What has to take place in our hearts and minds in order for us to rise above that primitive drive for self-gratification, self-protection, and self-promotion? How do we keep from being sucked into the vortex of the dynamic that cries out to us every day? (12-14)

Today, let's ask three questions. How did it come about that I owe the debt of love to my neighbor? Is love compatible with obligation? Do I need to first learn to love myself before I can love others? Lastly, how did I get into this debt? OK, first question. How is it that I owe my neighbor the debt of love? How did I come to be in his debt? How did I become my neighbor's debtor?

First: a clarification

Paul doesn't mean here that we should never incur any kind of debt at all except love. For example, he isn't forbidding us here from taking out a mortgage. The verse is given in the context of paying that which we already owe in terms of taxes, customs, honor, and respect. And the point is that we should pay our debts promptly and in accordance with the terms of our contracts.

Now, it's not good to get into debt that you can't pay back because the borrower is a slave to the lender. If you can't liquidate your assets and pay off your debt you are at the mercy of the lender. But that's not what Paul is talking about here. He means to be faithful to pay off your debts. And there is one debt you can never pay back sufficiently and that is the debt of love for your neighbor.

But how is it that we owe our neighbor the debt of love? Look, the good Samaritan didn't even know the Jewish man he helped on the side of the road. That man never did anything for him. How is it that the Samaritan was his debtor? How did you become a debtor to the people in this room? On the surface this is a very strange statement to me.

The Obligation/Debt We Owe to God

Let me answer this in two ways. First, our obligation to our neighbor is not the debt we own him; it's the debt we owe to God. The word "debt" is a metaphor for an obligation. Our obligation to our neighbor is the debt we owe to God. Here's why that's true. When God, your creator and maker, commands you to do something you are in His debt to obey Him. He gives you life. If He were to stop breathing, you would perish. You are a contingent being. You have been authored. Therefore you are always under His authority. To obey God is to give to God what belongs to Him. Therefore, when God gives a commandment, you owe Him obedience. If you don't obey God, then you go into His debt. This is why Jesus, when He taught us how to pray, said to pray like this," forgive us our debts." When I was a kid, I thought he meant that we were to ask God to forgive us our financial debts. But debts, in the Lord's Prayer, represent our disobedience. We owe God obedience. When we sin, we go into His debt. So, some translate debts as trespasses. It's all basically the same thing. However, when you say trespasses you may not feel that sense of indebtedness that Jesus intended.

So, how did we get into this debt or this obligation to love our neighbor as ourselves? God commanded it (Lev. 19:18). Jesus commanded it, "As I have loved you so go and love one another." And because God commanded it, it's a debt or an obligation we owe to God. God's commandments aren't suggestions. They always come with authority and demand obligation. So, we are obligated to love our neighbor because God has commanded us to.

Second, it's an obligation we owe to grace. Look at two passages. Rom.1:14 reads, "I am under obligation (the same word for debt or owe in Rom. 13) both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish. So, I am eager to preach the gospel to you who are also in Rome." How did Paul get into that obligation? You can see it in v. 5..."through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith, or through whom we have received grace to preach the gospel that through faith in Jesus, God saves sinners like us!" Where did the obligation come from? It came from the miracle of grace!

Now, I know that sounds strange to our ears. Grace and obligation don't compute with us in the same sentence. But they must. Here's why. John says in 1Jn.3:16, "He laid down his life for us therefore we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren." And "Behold, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." The wonder, beauty, love, wisdom, nobility, and sacrifice that we call GRACE is so valuable, so noble, worthy, and glorious that it deserves something...it deserves nothing but our allegiance, praise, dedication, and commitment . Loving our neighbor is a debt or an obligation we owe to grace. The grace of Jesus poured out in the gospel is so inherently glorious that it comes to us with authority. Things that righteous, pure, and glorious carry with them the weight of authority. So, Peter says, "obey the gospel." (1Peter 4:17) Grace merits our obedience. Now, we could never merit grace. That would rob grace of grace. And we could never pay it back. Therefore grace isn't an obligation we could ever pay back in full. We can't. And we dare not. That's impossible, and it would be an offence to grace. You can only receive a true gift. You can't pay for a gift without offending the giver. But the gift of God's grace in the gospel is so wondrously glorious and beautiful that it merits our obligation to obey its demands and the obligations it places upon us. And one of those obligations and demands is that we love our neighbor as ourselves.

So, this is how we got into this debt of love for our neighbor. It comes to us as a commandment from God, therefore we are obligated to obey it, and it comes to us as an obligation that is merited by the wonder of the gospel of Jesus Christ who while we were yet sinners loved us. While we were yet undeserving, Christ loved us. While we were ignoring God and doing our own thing, Christ loved us. And He gave His life for us, and therefore we now ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

This debt of love to everyone did not come about because they gave us anything. It came about because Christ has given us everything when we were no more deserving of his love than anyone is deserving of our love. He gave us eternal life, grace, forgiveness, his promises, His covenant love, a future, and a hope that is eternal, imperishable, and a love that can never fade away forever and ever. Do you know yourself to be loved like this? Does it make your cup full and running over? Stop and receive it if you haven't. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Taste it...Savor it. Rest in it. And then, is there in you a growing sense of obligation to an unbelieving, sin-soaked, hell-bent people of the world to love them because Christ has love you so freely? There ought to be. So, we have an obligation to God who commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and we have an obligation to grace that inspires such love by God's sacrifice of His own son for us.

Love An Obligation?

This brings up my second question. Is Love an Obligation? Is love a duty? Absolutely! It's a sad and unique characteristic of our times to separate obligation from love. Love is an obligation because Biblical love binds you to the terms and conditions of real love. Love that is free from obligation is no love at all. Love that is free from duty isn't real love. Love that is free from commandments is no love at all.

Notice how Paul binds love to the law of God in verse 8. The one who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. And just in case they may have forgotten some of the commandments, he lists a few. "You shall not commit adultery. You shall not commit murder. You shall not steal. You shall not covet. And any other commandment summed up in a quote from Lev.19:18, you shall love your neighbor as yourself." See how he connects these two things? He says, "Real love is bound to commitment, to the obligation, to the duty-- not to do any wrong to your neighbor." If you omit that obligation and duty, you will sacrifice real love in the process. Real love has to do with the confidence, trust, beauty, and freedom that comes with knowing that the one who loves you has made some rock solid commitments to not do you wrong. We are free from worry, anxiety, and doubt because we know the other person is not out to harm us, but to do us good. That fact is enormously liberating. Love obligates you to do right to another.

About 15 years ago, I got this note from a woman who had moved in with a married man named Dave. Let me just read you a short piece of her note to me. She wanted to explain to me the love she had for Dave.

She writes, "David is a kind, loving, gentle, wonderful human being. He has had much unhappiness throughout his entire life. He deserves love and happiness. I intend to do my best to give him all the love and joy he deserves. I truly love David with all my heart. We are not trying to do wrong or hurt anyone. We believe we belong together. Our love is not a sinful love. Our love is pure. We pray constantly and have asked God's forgiveness for the sins' we've committed. We know God has forgiven us and will bless us as we strive to honor Him."

What's going on here? This is what happens when you separate love from obligation and duty. It becomes hormonal. It reduces love to the worst kind of self deception and contradiction.

Yes...But it is much more...

So, beloved, love is an obligation. But of course it's much more than an obligation. It's also a joyful privilege. When I think of all the sacrifices Debby has made to love me and persevere when she could have married a normal guy with a normal job, I rejoice in that honor. When your neighbors find out that you're a preacher, for the most part, they don't want to have anything to do with you. It's like a modern day shunning. They smile and wave. But they never invite you over for a beer. I've watched Debby over the years give so much, endure so much, and sacrifice so much for her love for God that it makes it an enormous privilege to walk along side her in the Lord. That kind of love carries with it the weight of authority. My love for Debby is a godly obligation; it is never less than that. When we were married, we made good and noble vows of obligation and duty. And that is consistent with authentic love. But I can't begin to tell you how much more it is than that. We also made vows to honor and cherish each other. It's an honor, a privilege, and a gift of joy and wonder to have been called of God to walk along side her for these 36 years. It's a glorious duty and joyful obligation, full of grace, wonder, and gratitude. It rises up within me with deep gladness.

It is an obligation to serve you as a pastor; it's an honor and it's a glorious and joyful privilege to serve you as your pastor. It's an obligation and a duty to serve Jesus; and the more I think about His love, grace, wisdom, and certain covenant promises to us and this world...the more I think about the depth and extent of His grace and tender mercies to us His people. It's an honor, a privilege, and a joy inexpressible.

Beloved, there is no contradiction between love and obligation. Rightly understood, they compliment each other and shed light on the true nature of the love that comes from above.

Finally, what's this business about self love? Love your neighbor as yourself... Do we have to learn to love ourselves before we can love others? Today, psychologists say that the reason people aren't able to love others is that they don't love themselves. Therefore, the task of counseling, education, parenting, and preaching is to help people love themselves so that they will then have the resources to love others. I imagine the twentieth century was the first to understand this verse in this way.

However, this interpretation misses Paul's point. First, the biblical commandment assumes that all of us love ourselves already, "You shall love your neighbor as you [already] love yourself." There is no call here to help people love themselves. By nature, we all have a way of taking care of our own needs and concerns before we tend to the needs and concerns of others. When Paul says, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself," he's not talking about first learning to esteem yourself so you can love others. He's talking about taking your built in desire for joy, well being, contentment, satisfaction, safety, and security and making that the measure of your desire for the satisfaction, safety, security, and well being of others.

Paul applies this commandment to husbands in Ephesians 5 and he says in verse 28, "Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Then he adds this crucial statement in verse 29: "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church." That's what Paul means by self love. He's saying, "Look at the way you tend to your own satisfaction, security, and well being and then --desire that, --for your neighbor." Love happens when the safety, well being, and satisfaction of another is as important (or more important) to you than your own.

Everybody, without exception, loves himself. Everybody wants to satisfy their hunger and thirst and will do almost anything to do that rather than starve or die of thirst. Everybody wants to stay alive and will do almost anything to preserve their life. Everybody likes to be honored; we seek to be honored. Everybody seeks joy. That's what it means to have self-love. Paul assumes that everyone has it, and he doesn't condemn it. He doesn't say, stop having these yearnings and love others. He says, "Love your neighbor as your self. So, take that deep, unstoppable, primal, powerful desire to be well, safe, loved, cherished, and honored and make it the measure and the means of loving others. In other words, seek your own joy in seeking, pursuing, and serving up joy in others.

Look, we owe love to our neighbor because God commands it. Our obedience is always our debt to God. We also owe it to Him because there is an obligation of grace. Something as wondrous as the gospel obligates us to be absolutely committed to it. Love is an obligation. We are obligated to do right by those we say we love and not do wrong to them. True love shows up in keeping commandments. True love is not breezy and hormonal. It is anchored deep in moral commitments to do good to others. And we measure how we are to love others by the energy, perseverance, and attention we give to satisfying our own aspirations for joy, love, friendship, affirmation, safety, and well being. This is the way Jesus loved us. He made our joy, satisfaction, safety, gladness, and well being more important to Him than His very own. And that gave Him great joy! Let's pursue our joy in the love and joy we can serve up in others.

Let me close with this illustration of neighbor love. This past week some sixth grade boys had a friend who lost his hair due to his chemotherapy treatments. One by one the boys shaved their heads so that their friend (neighbor) would not have to feel so out of place at school. These sixth grade boys found their joy not in the pursuit of what would make them look good...but in the pursuit of serving up joy in their neighbor. May the riches of love like that -that Jesus has given us- mark our love for our neighbor as well.

Beloved, there is coming a day when the light of God's glory will shine in every dark corner and sin will be no more. May the light and love of Jesus that shines in our hearts light up the corners of darkness in our world today.