Overcoming Vengeance Through Christ's Love (Part 2)
by Pastor James Lincoln on January 28, 2007
Worship & Love
If you want to know what authentic worship looks like study the first eight verses of Romans twelve. If you want to know what authentic love looks like study verses nine through 21. In Paul's day love had grown cold. Roman paganism wasn't able to provide a sufficient motivation for authentic love. Pagan gods themselves did terrible things to each other. Paul called these followers of Christ to shine like stars against the dark backdrop of a loveless culture. He calls us to do the same in ours.
Last week we began to consider how the gospel changes our hearts towards those who do us wrong (12:14). Paul's list of exhortations sounds a lot like things Jesus said. Things like, "Love your enemies and pray for them...Bless those who persecute you...Turn the other cheek...Do good to those who persecute you...give to everyone who asks...Bless and don't curse...Don't return evil for evil...Overcome evil with good."
Funding all these commandments is the gospel that sets us free from the raging impulse we have to exact vengeance on those who have mistreated us. So glorious is this gospel that it sets us free to bless our adversaries! The blessings of Christ are so abundant and certain they simply render vengeance unnecessary. God is now for us! We don't have to exact vengeance. God will take care of justice. Jesus' love and Mercy prevailed over judgment in our lives. So, out of the reality of that blessing we can do the same with others. The gospel renders vengeance unnecessary.
Now, we did ask if this means that we give up on justice and never treat anyone as they deserve. No, every God ordained institution on earth should be established on the principles of God's justice. A parent doesn't merely give words of blessing to the child that curses him. A police officer doesn't give money bags to a bank robber just because he asks him to. He doesn't turn the other cheek when a murderer wants to kill him along with others. A professor doesn't give a lazy student good grades. God ordained institutions have meaning as they operate on the principles of justice. So, God has not calling us to abandoned justice. He's calling us to reveal something of the way God is in His mercy. Because God calls us to reveal something both of His mercy and His justice we need discernment in each situation not just a rule.
Free to Love
Now we know from v.9 that Paul is talking about authentic love. And, love happens when the well-being, safety and satisfaction of another person means more to you than your own. In this last section of chapter 12, I see two ways the gospel sets us free to love others. First, it sets us free from the need to exact vengeance on those who have mistreated us. Second, it liberates us from the pride that kills loving relationships. This morning I want us to linger a bit more on the freedom the gospel gives us from vengeance. Next Sunday we'll tackle those verses that speak to the humility necessary for loving each other in peace.
Here's the point...Love shows up when we are liberated from the need to exact vengeance on those who have mistreated us. Look at the verses again,
14, "Bless those who persecute you bless and not curse." 17, "Never pay back evil for evil." 19, "Never take your own revenge leave room for the wrath of God for it is written Vengeance is mine, I will repay says the LORD." 20. "If your enemy is hungry feed him and if he is thirsty give him a drink; for in this way you heap burning coals upon his head." 21, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
Remember, Paul's approach is not to simply give you a list of rules. He has written eleven chapters about the work of God's love through Jesus in the gospel. That love funds every one of these commands. Christianity is not another form of moralism. The gospel doesn't produce a mechanical change. It produces an organic change or a change from within by the power of God's mercies. Yes, it starts as an idea. But it also changes our relationships to our world, to God, others and our own history, sufferings and ideas. After becoming a Christian I could never relate to others the way I did before. As I said last Sunday it dramatically changed the way I related to my step father and changed hatred into love. The gospel did this, not me. It wasn't because I simply made a moral decision to be a better person. I was incapable of loving him. I hated the guy. But, God's mercy and powerful grace simply gave me a new heart and resources of love that I didn't know were even possible.
When it comes to this question of how you treat someone who has done you wrong, Jesus breaks out of the pack, as does Paul. He says, "Bless and not curse." To bless means to wish well upon another in your heart and to say so. To curse means to wish ill upon someone. It means to exact payback or punishment.
Overcome Evil with Good...How do we do this? Verse 21, "Don't be overcome by evil but over come evil with good." The word to overcome doesn't mean to become passive. It's an aggressive military word that means to win through defeat. Fight this battle this way. When you are treated with malice don't pay back in kind and don't respond in kind. Don't be malicious back. Don't attack back. Instead, do good...forgive. Otherwise, you will be overcome.
Here's why. Look, when you react with malice or vengeance you're losing the battle...You're letting yourself be controlled and you're becoming absorbed by the malice. And when you do that you've lost self-control in the matter. If you're bitter or vengeful the evil has won. It has defeated you. Paul calls us to defeat it. And to defeat it takes strength, creativity, freedom and self control to overcome evil with good. He's calling us to be aggressively forgiving and kind. Otherwise you're going to be sucked in, controlled and shaped by the malice.
Positively, he says, "If you do your enemy good, you'll heap burning coals on his head." (20) Now, I don't really know what this means. Paul can't mean that we do good with the vengeful purpose of making our adversary suffer. Perhaps it means that your good deeds -foiled against his malice- will make his malice more evident and uncomfortable upon his life (head) that it creates a sense of alarm. If you have burning coals on your head I would think that you would want to act fast to get them off. To cover oneself with ashes is an historic sign of repentant grief. I think the hope here is that doing good to them will inspire repentance. So, you fight this urge to exact vengeance by doing good. Are you doing good to your adversary or are you merely incubating your own vengeance?
Three Ways to Do Good
I want to push this deeper in our souls. I notice three ways here to do good to those who mistreat us. First, hate evil. Second, be humble. Third, forgive.
Hate Evil
I like the word 'abhor' better. It means to see evil as a horror. That was Paul's first exhortation in v. 9. It's really one of the most loving things you can do. Without this you just can't love or forgive. If you make peace with evil you'll do nothing. That's true because love is good; it has a moral component. If you are loving and good you get angry at anything that destroys what you love. The reason Jesus is more angry even than most is because he's more loving and good than all. So, if you are going to love you must hate evil. You'll never overcome evil unless you are capable of righteous indignation. Hate evil and cling to what is good.
Second: Humble Your heart and Turn the Other Cheek
At the end of v.16, Paul says, "don't think too highly of yourself," or, "Don't be wise in your own estimation." Check your ego. How does this work?
Reconsider Jesus' words in Matt 5:39, "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. Is Jesus saying, "When someone hits you on the cheek you supposed to say, 'Hey, hit me again I'm still breathing!'"? Could Jesus' meaning be primarily figurative? Look, if someone wanted to physically attack you they would probably not hit you on the right cheek. My guess is that you won't find hitting someone on the right cheek in any martial arts lesson on attacking people. Jesus said if someone ..."strikes you on the right cheek turn to him the other." For the overwhelming majority of people that would be a backhanded slap with the right hand. What is that? Well ...it's an insult. They are assaulting your honor. They're belittling you. Their attacking your pride.... They're attacking your ego...
I think Jesus is saying something wonderfully balanced here. On the one hand when we're mistreated some of us tend to stuff it down and become passive. We let the behavior continue or we just withdraw, walk away and sacrifice the relationship. This is what I did for years with my step father. On the other hand some of us tend to react aggressively and lash out. When Shimei threw dirt clods and stones at David Abishai said, "Let me kill this dead dog." David said, "No, God may work some good out of this." I'm often like Abashai. A good friend of mine was treated extremely rudely by someone this past week. My first impulse was to punch his lights out. Of course I would have done it in a Christian sort of a way.
Luther taught that we're often like drunken sailors on a donkey. We can easily fall off one side or the other. We tend to cower, stuff it in and walk away or we go ballistic. A counselee once asked me, "Pastor, I only have two speeds, hysteria and lethargy. Is there anything in the middle?" Yes, but only in the gospel.
Look, Jesus doesn't say, "Hey just keep letting him hit you on the same cheek over and over." And, he doesn't say, "Hit him back." He doesn't say, "Walk away and abandon the relationship." He says, "Turn the other cheek." In other words, be willing to make yourself vulnerable again to redeem the relationship or be willing to offer a fresh look at this again. Don't run away, wimp out or retaliate after the first strike. Turning the other cheek demonstrates a willingness to start over and to be vulnerable again. The normal human reaction is to stay passive on the outside and burn up on the inside. He's saying, "Be active on the outside and at peace on the inside." But you can't do this if saving face and honor is too important to you.
We should be concerned about justice and mercy but not about our egos. Pride is concerned about the ego not justice or mercy. Don't get passive...don't stuff it down...Go after justice and mercy without a shred of vengeance, spite, or venom. And you can do this. Why? Because the gospel sets you free from having to save face. Jesus did that for you at the cross. I'll come back to this at the end. However, you go after truth, justice and mercy without the ego.
Now, if you know yourself you know that you are incapable of that balance. It's just too wonderful. We are either love with justice types or we're justice with love types. The Meyers Briggs test will show you which one you are. We're either wimps that say, "Keep on hitting me," or we withdraw or we stuff it all down and get ulcers or depression... Or, we retaliate and end the relationship. Jesus insists that we combine love and justice and the only way is to extricate your personal ego from the situation. So, you make yourself vulnerable again and you go after love and justice. You don't go after payback with spite to do harm or to embarrass.
David's Example of Humility in 1 Sam. 24
David blessed Saul and cursed not. Saul was trying to kill David. He was jealous and afraid of David. He was afraid that David would replace him as king. Once pursuing David to kill him, Saul goes into a cave for a private matter. Unknown to him David was hiding in that same cave with his warriors. David could easily kill Saul and that's exactly what his commanders told him to do. Instead, David cuts a piece of Saul's robe off. Saul leaves. David (from a distance) does just what Jesus tells us to do. He's not running away. He's not stuffing anger down. He's not treating Saul with vengeance. He's turning the other cheek (cautiously). He says to Saul, "Look, my father. I love you and respect you. I could have killed you in the cave. I have a piece of your robe to prove it. And I didn't." Then he confronts Saul and says, "But you're hunting me down like a criminal, like a dog. This is not right. This is not just. May God witness that you are sinning against me in this matter." David shows positive regard, respect, love, tenderness and affection here. He shows a desire for relationship and a new vulnerability. And yet there is an absolutely uncompromising willingness to say what is right and what is wrong. That's what a blessing is. "Saul, I want to get this right. I want to still be friends. I'll make myself vulnerable again (within reason). I still want to have the relationship." David laid his ego and honor aside. He did the same when Shemei insulted him repeatedly. He laid his honor aside. You just can't do this if you don't discover the humility to set your ego aside.
Finally: Forgive!
In v.19, Paul says of God, "Vengeance is mine. I will repay..." When God says "I will repay," He lays bear the whole issue of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a payment thing. When someone has wronged you, you can either exact the debt or you can let God do that.
You can say, "God, you know what that person deserves. I don't. Besides, you've forgiven me radically. And therefore I pass over any efforts to exact a debt from this person." How do you forgive? You commit not to exact the debt even before you feel it. How do we exact debts? Well, we punish them with reminding them of their offence. We become icy cold to them. We withdraw or run them down. There are many clever and creative ways we can punish a person.
When you forgive, you promise to not keep bringing the matter up to yourself as well and replaying that tape. You promise not to keep reminding yourself of what a louse that person is. You don't let the malice of another take charge of your life.
Jesus says, "Forgive". Grant forgiveness. This is doing good. This is clinging to good. Jesus did this. He said, "Father forgive them." Stephen did this and said, "Father don't lay these sins at their charge." When you look at the cross you see the tender mercies of the Lord. On the cross Jesus both hates evil and he defeats its tyranny over us. Love without justice and justice without love is always easier. Malice or appeasement cost nothing. To forgive is costly. You have to give up your need to exact the debt and let go.
The more you see what Jesus did on the cross the more it melts your heart. Look, if you want to graft a branch into a tree. You have to gash the tree. And the more deeply it's wounded the deeper in the branch goes. And at the point and only at the point where the tree is wounded does the branch go in. Jesus looks at you and me and says, "I was wounded so that you can come in." I was wounded to the bottom so that you can be forgiven and have fellowship with me.
Laying hold of the cross makes it possible for us to forgive. No matter what others have done to you it is small compared to what we have done to him. You can forgive when you see what he did for you.
Please listen. If you are a Christian you've lost face once and for all already. You did this when you admitted you were a sinner and received Jesus in your life. You lost face (blessedly) forever. And now when someone wrongs you it's no longer your honor that is wronged. Your performance is not your honor anymore! Your record is not your honor! Your reputation is no longer your honor! Without the cross you've got nothing. David knew this and it gave him the power to overcome evil with good and not have to exact payment from Saul. He said, "If you O LORD should mark our iniquities, who could stand?" The answer is "NO ONE!" I don't mean to be rude. But without Jesus you've got nothing and cut off from Jesus you can do nothing." The flesh counts for nothing. But David continued, "...But, there is forgiveness with you that you may be awesomely worshipped." Your honor is now in Jesus and what He has done for you. He is your righteousness! He is your record! He is your peace! And He is your honor! And nobody can attack, destroy or prevail over what you are in Jesus. If you find the cross to be the center of your life then you can say with Paul or David, "God forbid that I should glory in anything but the cross of Jesus Christ by which the world is crucified to me and I to the world." May that glorious reality empower us to love others as Jesus loved us and set us free from the need to exact vengeance; for His glory and our joy! Amen.